Good communication is essential for good sex – it can improve your overal satisfaction and lead to more enjoyable experiences for you and your partner.
Communication is important before, during and after sex:
If you want to improve your sex life, your communication should be:
Sometimes talking about sex, kinks, needs can be difficult. If you feel that talking about intimacy is challanging for you or makes you uncomfortable, think about the possible reasons and try to work on that:
Don’t say things like: “You’re doing it wrong”, “You don’t know how to do it”. Don’t throw general comments with hope your partner will guess what you mean.
Instead say: “I’d prefer if you do it that way”, “I like to be touched like this”. Describe exactly how you’d like them to do something, guide them, direct their hand or adjust their position gently. Make your communication clear and precise.
Don’t say “We must try it.”, “I want you to do this and this”. It may feel to your partner like they must participate in whatever you want to do.
Instead say things like: “I’d like to try this thing with you, if you’re okay with that.”, “It would be nice to try this, what do you think?”, “The idea of this excites me”. Always be open to discuss the ideas and accept that your partner may disagree.
If you don’t like certain activities and don’t want to take part in something, always tell it to your partner. Remember to do it in an assertive and respectful way.
Don’t judge your partner for their ideas, kinks and fantasies. Don’t say things like “It’s sick”, “It’s weird”, “It’s disgusting.”, “Are you crazy? I’m never doing that.”, “If you like it, there’s something’s wrong with you.”
Instead, express your dislikes in a neutral, respectful way; “I don’t feel comfortable with that.”, “For me it’s not arousing or exciting”, “It’s too bold / intense for me”, “It’s not my thing”.
If you want to ask your partner about their impressions don’t ask “Did you come?”. It’s not a good example of communication or a good question to ask.
Instead ask them “Did you enjoy what we did?”, “What did you like?”, “Which part didn’t you like or what would you like to do differently next time?”, “Is there something you’d like to explore further?”
Don’t wait untill you finish to tell your partner that you felt uncomfortable or you didn’t like a certain part at all.
Always speak up immediately whenever you feel uncomfortable and inform your partner whenever something’s wrong.
Non-verbal expressions are a natural and essential part of communication in bed.
Some examples of non-verbal communication during sex are:
It’s good to be attentive to non-verbal communication of your partner and to express your excitement with your body or non-verbal sounds.
However, remember that non verbal communication can be easily misinterpreted or your partner may ignore certain signs completely. So don’t rely just on the non-verbal communication to be sure that sex is safe and pleasurable for both of you and that you’re both understanding each other’s signals.
If you’d like to read more about sex and intimacy, check out the articles below or visit my blog:
I’m an independent escort based in Warsaw, Poland. On my blog, I write about subjects related to my work: escort dates, Girlfriend Experience, erotic massage, sex & intimacy. You can also find here interesting posts for escort clients and helpful tips for gentlemen planning to book an escort in Warsaw.
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