first time on erotic massage

Stressful first time on erotic massage.

For most of men the first erotic massage is very stresfull.  Not only the very first time, but also every first massage with a new masseuse. 

Why is it so? What can you do to make your first time more pleasant?

Today I’d like to talk a bit about the most important aspects of stress and give you a few tips that hopefully will make your massages more enjoyable.

Why are the men stressed?

There are many reasons why men are stressed during the first erotic massage. Most popular concerns that I know about are the following:

New place (if you meet for incall)

Usually you don’t feel very comfortable in new places when you are there for the first time, especially when you’re coming for an erotic massage.

New person

The client doesn’t know if he will like the girl and if the girl will like him. What if something doesn’t click and it will be weird the whole, long hour? Also being close with a beautiful woman may be intimidating for many men.

New experience

Simply saying, the client doesn’t know what to expect and that might be kind of scary. He doesn’t know how to behave, what to do. He is afraid to do something wrong.

Being shy, having insecurities

Some clients are naturally shy. Some have body insecurities, they do not feel great about some of their body parts or they are just stressed about getting naked in front of another person.

Being afraid of disappointment

This is a very common stressfull factor. Often the man is afraid to disappoint himself and the masseuse. He may feel the pressure to “perform well” and be afraid not to get an erection, not be able to get an orgasm or to get an orgasm too soon. Of course the sress doesn’t help here and difficulties to get an erection and orgasm sometimes do happen.

The moral factor / breaking the taboo

In many countries and in many societies having an erotic massage is seen as something bad or as a sin. Often the subject of sexuality is a strong taboo too, so unfollowing the common rules and deciding to enjoy a new sexual experience for sure is difficult. The moral dilema like that can make a client feel guilty, sinful or even dirty in a way. Having a massage with all those thoughts and negative feelings is very hard.

Fear of losing discretion

Most of the clients want to be discreet while meeting for an erotic service. When they meet a new person or they visit a new place, sometime the clients are worried that they may meet someone they know or that the masseuse may not be as discreet as they’d expect.

What can you do to avoid stress during the first erotic massage?


Choose a professional masseuse. With a professional masseuse you will not have to worry about many things:
– An experienced masseuse will know how to lead you through your first massage session.
– Most likely you will like the massage – she does it professionally and she probably will adjust the massage (and the finale) to your needs. I always recommend choosing an independent masseuse. I might write about the reasons in a seperate article soon.
– The masseuse will be discreet – that’s a principal rule for professional providers in the erotic industry.


Inform the masseuse that it is your first time. Tell her that you are a bit stressed. She will know how to take care of you and make a nice, stress-free atmosphere. You may also ask her to tell you at the beginning of the meeting, how the session will look like and what to do. Usually when I have a stressed client and he asks me, I tell him how it’s all going to be – first we do this, than we do that, you can do this, this is not allowed, I inform about possible additional options etc. This really helps the client.


If its an option with the masseuse you chose, you both can take a shower or a bath together. The first moments spent together in a hot tub will relax you, you will get familiar with the masseuse, will get comfortable with her touch and with being naked in front of each other. You can also talk a bit, maybe drink some soft wine. It’s a great entrée to the massage.


When it’s time for massage, just relax. It’s the time for you to enjoy. Don’t let the stressful thoughts spoil your pleasure. Just breath deeply, think about something nice, focus on your breath and go with the flow. Enjoy the touch and expect only the positive experiences. Believe me, after 15-20 minutes of massage you will feel a lot better, more calm and peacuful.


The finale – what if it goes wrong?

Do not be stressed about the finale. It can not go wrong. It can be short, it can be long. You may get hard quickly or you may not get fully hard at all. You may get an orgasm or not. It is all fine. As long as it is a pleasurable sensation and as long as you like the touch it is a good finale.
Erotic massage is usually finished with a handjob / Lingam massage. But it doesn’t mean it must lead to orgasm. The main purpose of the Lingam massage is to give the man pleasure.
Also, do not be embarassed when the finale doesn’t go as you expected. The experienced masseuse will not be disappointed / surprised / embarrased if you do not get hard / finish quickly / can not get an orgasm.

Every next massage session is better.

The first time is always the hardest. But when you meet your masseuse the next time it will be a lot easier, believe me. With a trusted masseuse you will feel a lot more comfortable.  It will be much easier for you to relax and enjoy the massage. During the next sessions the masseuse will already know what you like. You will know what she likes and what to expect. You will not be thinking about how stressful the meeting is. You will just enjoy the meeting and will be getting a much more pleasure from every single moment.

After a few sessions you may even get a bit addicted to the massage 😉 It will be very pleasant and relaxing experience that will become a part of your weekly / monthly schedule. After a few times you meet the masseuse, you won’t even remember why exactly you were so stressed 🙂

A few things to remember about before the massage sessions

1. Get familiar with the rules of the masseuse and if you have any doubts, just ask. Every masseuse have different rules, so if you are interested in a mutual massage, having a shower together, toching or kissing the masseuse, it is very important that you make sure the girl allows it.

2. Tell the masseuse if you feel a discomfort during the massage or you’d like her to do something differently. Your comfort during the massage is the most important.

3. Pay for the massage at the beginning of the meeting. It’s a good practise to pay before the girl asks you ( like a true gentleman 🙂  )

4. During the massage lay comfortably, your muscles shouldn’t be flexed. If the masseuse allows touching her, do it the way that doesn’t disturb the massage. Generally it’s the best to stay passive when you lay on a front and get active / touch the masseuse only when you lay on the back (usually before and during the happy ending).

5. After the massage do not get up immidiately, because you might get dizzy. Have some rest, sit up slowly and then get up.

I hope this article was helpful for you and from now on your next first massages will be a lot better.

If you're interested to book a massage session with me, read more about my massages here:

Nicole Kaminski

Erotic masseuse & escort in Warsaw

Writing has always been a pleasure for me. So has been giving erotic massages. This blog is a place where my two passions meet.

I write about erotic massages, sex, intimacy and working as an escort.


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