11 Reasons Why You Don’t Enjoy Sex (as much as you could)
Wrong mindset
Right focus and mindset are so important in sex. If you find yourself not enjoying sex or not being engaged in it, there might be a few reasons to that.
- You focus on reaching the orgasm and not on the sex itself. If you treat sex as a way of reaching an orgasm, then you won’t be able to enjoy it fully. Don’t give yourself this “reaching the goal” mindset. Instead try to enjoy every moment of the journey – every kiss, every touch, every move, every moan. Then, with all the pleasure you receive from sex, it might eventually lead you to an orgasm, that will be a nice addition to great sex.
- Another reason might be lack of good preparation. Do you mute your phone before having sex? Do you prepare well? Do you treat it as a special moment for yourself and your partner? If you don’t, then you might get distracted during sex with notifications or phone calls from work. You might also not be in the right mood yet, if you don’t switch into the relaxation mode and that’s why you don’t enjoy sex fully.
You don't feel comfortable
If you don’t feel comfortable during sex, you won’t enjoy it at all. If you ever felt uncomfortable during sex, try to think for a moment why that was.
- You jumped too quickly to intimacy and didn’t have a chance to get to know your partner and feel really comfortable around her. If that’s the case, next time give yourself a bit more time and you both will benefit from it.
- You do things that you don’t enjoy, beause you don’t know how to communicate. Have you ever been in a situation when you didn’t enjoy something that your partner was doing, but you haven’t stopped them, because you didn’t know how to communicate it? It’s important that you learn to communicate during sex – it will bring huge benefits to you and your partner.
Clear communication is what helps you set your boundaries and lets others understand them. Next time you don’t enjoy some activity in sex, try saying something like “I prefer if you do it slower / faster / harder / more delicate” or “Touch me here / go a bit up / a bit down” or “Maybe let’s take a break for a moment?” or “I don’t enjoy it. Let’s try to adjust it”. Clear but gentle communication will make you feel more comfortable during sex. - You don’t feel comfortable in your body or when you’re naked around women. We all have some insecurities. But if they stop you from having a good sex life, maybe it’s time to work on them with a therapist who will help you work with your insecurities.
- You have some bad experiences that block you. Sex is a very sensitive sphere of our lives and even tiny bad experiences may have a huge influence on us. If you feel that some past experiences block you from enjoying sex, it might be another good reason to talk to a therapist.
You stop yourself from fully enjoying sex
One of the reasons why you don’t enjoy sex might be because you… stop yourself from enjoying it. You’re afraid to get expressive in sex or you feel awkward when you do it, so you always control yourself not to get too wild. You stop yourself from fully receiving plesure and reaching your orgasm with somebody (although you have no problems reaching an orgasm when you’re alone).
If that’s something you experience, then you just need to let it go. You don’t always have to control yourself. You can be naughty, you can be loud, you can be wild and feel good about it. Next time you have an opportunity to have sex with someone you trust, try to let it go and just enjoy it.
You don’t do things that you truly enjoy or you don’t know what you enjoy yet.
It’s hard to enjoy sex if you don’t do things that you truly enjoy, right? Is any of the cases below something that’s familiar to you?
- You find it hard to communicate your needs and give suggestions during sex. That’s why your partner doesn’t know what you enjoy and is not able to give it to you – as a result, you don’t get the kind of stimulation you like.
- You don’t know your body, you’re not experienced with sex or you don’t know what gives you pleasure. That is quite common when you are a beginner in sex. Once you explore more and try different types of sexual activities, you will know yourself more and you will be able to have sex that you actually like.
- You are ashamed of what really turns you on or you’re afraid to start doing what you really like / exploring your kinks and fetishes. This can be caused by the way you’ve been raised or by the society you live in.
Whenever there is strong sex taboo in a family / society, people grow up believing that their bodies are ugly, dirty, not worthy the pleasure. They grow up believing that sex is bad or sinful and anything that is not purely “a vanilla sex” is deviation / pervertion. It can be very harmful and can affect a person for many, many years. Changing the views and the way you perceive sex, body, pleasure and yourself can be hard, but it’s absolutely possible to do it. If this is something you’ve been experiencing, I’d like to again recommend you an appointment with a therapist who will be able to help you work it out and learn a new, positive, healthy way of thinking.
So here are tips for you:
>> The Ultimate guide to Enjoyable Sex
>> Why Size Doesn’t Matter and What Matters Instead
You haven't found a right partner yet
To fully enjoy sex, you need to have a right partner. If you haven’t found a partner that likes similar things as you, is not as open in sex as you or you’re just not a good match, then you might want to try meeting a professional escort.
With a professional escort you will be able to explore your body, different sexual activities and kinks. You will have a chance to talk openly about your preferences, needs, difficulties and express your sexuality in a safe, healthy environment.
See also: Why Men Date Escorts
Booking a date with a professional escort
If you’re interested to meet a professional escort (in Warsaw or internationally), please get familiar with my website and contact me to schedule a meeting.
I’m an independent escort based in Warsaw, Poland. On my blog, I write about subjects related to my work: Girlfriend Experience, erotic massage, sensuality & intimacy. You can also find here interesting posts for gentlemen planning to start dating escorts and my Escorts Warsaw Guide.
