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Why Size Doesn’t Matter and What Matters Instead

For many men, the size of their penis is a major source of anxiety and insecurity. From locker room jokes to pornographic films, the message is clear: bigger is better. But the reality is far more nuanced. In fact, this emphasis on penis size is often a distraction from the real factors that contribute to sexual satisfaction. From confidence and communication to creativity, there are many factors that contribute to a sexual fulfillment that have nothing to do with the size of your anatomy.

Where does this obsession with big penis even come from?

One of the main reasons people believe that size matters is due to a lack of education and because of popular misconceptions. Unfortunately, the porn industry fuels these misconceptions by displaying unrealistic body standards in their videos. People often rely on porn videos for their “sex education” instead of seeking information from experts, articles, or open communication with their partner. This can be harmful.

Just imagine learning about love and relationships from romantic comedies, or learning how to drive a car from action movies. And yet, many people still take porn videos as a reliable source of knowledge about sex.

Pornographic content is now so accessible and so often watched, that it has changed people’s views on beauty, body standards, and what is considered “normal” or desirable in terms of penis size (as well as breast size, skin color on intimate parts, or even the size or shape of the vulva).

Porn actors often undergo procedures, such as body part enhancements or reductions, or skin bleaching to remove discoloration. However, viewers are unaware of these procedures and take the enhanced bodies of the actors as new norms, applying these standards in real life.

Moreover, many products promise to enlarge men’s penises, and producers simply profit off men’s insecurities and distorted body image. Aggressive ads like these are often seen on porn and escort websites that sexually active men visit. When constantly bombarded with messages that their penis is not enough and could be bigger, men eventually start believing it.

Another factor is the general social pressure and expectations of what a man should be like, what true masculinity is. Men are expected to be competitive in society, and the pressure to be harder, better, faster, stronger, and bigger leaks into the bedroom, influencing their body image and expectations of penis size.

However, it’s not only the pressure to be big. There’s also pressure to “perform well” – getting erected in three seconds, lasting an hour, giving five toe-curling orgasms to the partner, and coming hard at the end.

Well, sex is neither a performance nor a competition, so all these expectations make no sense.

(By the way, while I acknowledge that there are unrealistic beauty standards for women as well, this post focuses on the subject of men.)

Size does not matter

I cannot emphasize this enough: penis size does not matter. Having a big penis is not an indicator of masculinity or sexual prowess, nor is it a guarantee of good sex.

Most men who have expressed concern about their penis size to me have been completely normal in size or even slightly above average.

A normal-sized penis is enough. You are enough. You don’t need to be bigger.

You can have satisfying sex and satisfy your partner with your normal-sized penis, or even if it’s smaller than average.

Big power Penis comes with big responsibility

In fact, based on my experience, I strongly believe that it is easier to have enjoyable sex with an average or slightly smaller penis than with a huge penis, which is often seen in porn.

A very large penis can be problematic in the bedroom. Men with big penises often struggle to find the right partner or need to be more cautious during sex. They may need to choose specific sex positions and engage in longer foreplay to relax their partner and prepare her for pleasurable sex.

So if size doesn’t matter, what matters instead?

Okay, now that we are clear about the fact that size doesn’t matter, let’s focus on what matters instead and what really makes sex better.

Confidence and skill

Now that you understand where the obsession with big size and perfect bodies comes from, do you notice how it decreases your confidence in bed and actually makes sex worse and less enjoyable for you? What an irony, don’t you think? You are so focused on your size because you want to be better and have fun with sex. But putting too much pressure on yourself and your size spoils the fun and takes away attention from the things that really matter in sex and that you actually have control over.

Maybe you have thought in the past, “I don’t have good sex because my penis is small” or “My partners are not satisfied because my penis is small,” when in fact, the truth might have been “I let negative thoughts about my body influence my confidence in bed and ruin my enjoyment.”

So what can you do if you’re stuck in that mindset? First, you need to understand that a small penis doesn’t equal bad sex. Come on, a man can satisfy a woman with one single finger. So size really doesn’t matter. Yes, one of the best and most intense orgasms I’ve had in life was done literally with just one finger (a normal-sized finger, to be precise, without any professional or magical technique).

Here’s what you can do to improve your enjoyment of sex. Once you have a new, better way of thinking, you can start to educate yourself about sex and different types of intimate activities that can be as enjoyable as sex or even better. For start, you can check out these posts:
>> 4 Ways to Enjoy intimacy WITHOUT Sex
>> Why Handjob is Better Than Sex

You can try new things with your partner, see what they enjoy, and try different positions for better stimulation. You can try using sex toys, which can be a lot of fun and make you and your partner aroused before you even start the “main play”. And if you don’t think you have the right partner for that, you can book an escort meeting with an open-minded escort who would like to explore different things with you, give you feedback, etc. (for example me >> My Services: Escort Warsaw)

Being comfortable with your own body and sexuality and not comparing yourself or your partner to unrealistic standards can make a huge difference in the way you perceive and experience sex.

That’s what REALLY matters in sex

Initially, I wanted to include all the tips here in this post, but it would be too long, so I decided to put it in the part 2.
To continue reading, click here >> Ultimate Guide to Enjoyable Sex

Sensual massage in Warsaw with Nicole Kaminski

I’m an independent, professional masseuse based in Warsaw, Poland. On my blog, I write about subjects related to my work: erotic massage, sensuality & intimacy. You can also find here interesting posts for massage clients and helpful tips for gentlemen planning to book an erotic massage in Warsaw.

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