First Time getting an Erotic Massage – Tips for Clients
Stressfull first time
For most of men the first erotic massage is very stresfull. Not only the very first time, but also every first massage with a new masseuse. Why is it so? What can you do to make your first time more pleasant?
In this post I’ll discribe the most important aspects of stress and give you a few tips that hopefully will make your massages more enjoyable.
If you’re a beginner in the erotic massage world, check out my Ultimate Guide to Sensual Massages [For Clients], where you can find many helpful tips. Or maybe you’re wondering if you should have an erotic massage if you’re a virgin? Then you should read this post: Is an erotic massage a good way to lose virginity?
Why are the men stressed?
There are many reasons why men are stressed during the first erotic massage. Most popular concerns that I know about are the following:
New place (if you meet at her incall)
Usually you don’t feel very comfortable in new places when you are there for the first time, especially when you’re coming for an erotic massage.
New person
The client is concerned weather he will like the girl and if the girl will like him. What if something doesn’t click and it will be weird the whole, long hour? Also being close with a beautiful woman may be intimidating for many men.
New experience
Simply saying, the client isn’t sure what to expect and that might be kind of scary. He doesn’t know how to behave, what to do. He is afraid to do something wrong.
Being shy, having insecurities
Some clients are naturally shy. Some have body insecurities, they do not feel great about some of their body parts or they are just stressed about getting naked in front of another person.
Being afraid of disappointment
This is a very common stress factor. Often the man is afraid to disappoint himself and the masseuse. He may feel the pressure to “perform well” and be afraid of not getting an erection, not being able to get an orgasm or getting an orgasm too soon. Of course the stress doesn’t help here and difficulties to get an erection and orgasm sometimes do happen.
The moral factor / breaking the taboo
In many countries and societies, receiving an erotic massage is stigmatized as immoral or sinful. Sexuality is often a strong taboo, so defying conventional norms and exploring new sexual experiences can be challenging. Clients may feel guilty, sinful, or even dirty. It’s difficult to enjoy a massage with such negative thoughts and feelings.
Fear of losing discretion
Most of clients prefer discretion when seeking erotic services. They may worry about meeting someone they know or that the masseuse may not be as discreet as they would like when meeting a new person or visiting a new place.
What can you do to avoid stress during the first erotic massage?
Choose a professional masseuse
With a professional masseuse you will not have to worry about many things:
- An experienced masseuse will know how to lead you through your first massage session and make you feel comfortable.
- Most likely you will enjoy the massage – she does it professionally and she’s able to provide a massage that is adjusted to your needs. I always recommend choosing an independent masseuse, for more discretion and individual treatment.
- The masseuse will be discreet – that’s a principal rule for professional providers in the erotic industry.
Inform the masseuse that it's your first time
Tell her if you are a bit stressed. She will know how to take care of you and create a nice, relaxed atmosphere. At the beginning of the session, you may also ask her to tell you how the session will look like and what you can expect.
Usually when I have a stressed client and he asks me, I tell him how the sessions is going to look like and I inform about what is allowed and what is not. This really helps the client.
Take it slow
If its an option with the masseuse you chose, you both can take a shower or a bath together. The first moments spent together in a hot tub will relax you and it will be an opportunity for you to get comfortable with the masseuse, her touch and with being naked in front of each other. You can also talk a bit, maybe drink some soft wine. It’s a great entrée to the massage.
Just relax
When it’s time for massage, just relax. It’s the time for you to enjoy. Don’t let the stressful thoughts spoil your pleasure. Just breath deeply, think about something nice, focus on your breath and go with the flow. Enjoy the touch and expect only the positive experiences. Believe me, after 15-20 minutes of massage you will feel a lot better, more calm and peaceful.
The finale - what if it goes wrong?
Do not be stressed about the finale.
It can not go wrong. It can be short, it can be long. You may get hard quickly or you may not get fully erected at all. You may get an orgasm or not. It is all fine. As long as it is a pleasurable experience and as long as you like the touch it is a good finale.
Don’t worry if you can’t reach an orgasm
Erotic massage is usually finished with a handjob / Lingam massage (that for many men is even better than sex). But getting an intimate massage doesn’t mean it must lead to an orgasm. The main purpose of the Lingam massage is to give the man pleasure – reaching an orgasm is a nice addition.
Also, do not be embarassed when something doesn’t go as you expected.
The experienced masseuse will not be disappointed / surprised / embarrased if you do not get hard / finish quickly / can not get an orgasm. Here you can read more about this popular concern of clients: Clients’ Concerns: “What if I Come Too Quickly during an Erotic massage?”
If you want to last longer…
If you feel you usually come too quickly and you want to try to last longer during the Lingam massage, you may ask your masseuse to try edging with you or you can try some of the techniques explained in this post: How to Enjoy a Lingam Massage without Coming Too Quickly. And if you plan to have a GFE massage, check out this post to find out how to last longer during sex.
Every next massage session is better.
The first time is always the hardest. But when you meet your masseuse the next time it will be a lot easier, believe me. With a trusted masseuse you will feel a lot more comfortable. It will be much easier for you to relax and enjoy the massage.
During the next sessions the masseuse will already know what you like and you will know what to expect. You will not be thinking about how stressful the meeting is. You will just enjoy the meeting and will be getting a much more pleasure from every single moment.
After a few sessions you may even get a bit addicted to the massage 😉 It will be very pleasant and relaxing experience that will become a part of your weekly / monthly schedule.
A few things to remember about before the massage sessions
- Get familiar with the rules of the masseuse and if you have any doubts, just ask. Every masseuse have different rules, so if you are interested in a mutual massage, having a shower together, toching or kissing the masseuse, it is very important that you make sure the girl allows it.
- Tell the masseuse if you feel a discomfort during the massage or you’d like her to do something differently. Your comfort during the massage is the most important.
- Pay for the massage at the beginning of the meeting. It’s a good practise to pay before the girl asks you ( like a true gentleman 🙂 )
- During the massage lay comfortably, your muscles shouldn’t be flexed. If the masseuse allows touching her, do it the way that doesn’t disturb the massage. Generally it’s the best to stay passive when you lay on a front and get active / touch the masseuse only when you lay on the back (usually before and during the happy ending).
- After the massage do not get up immidiately, because you might get dizzy. Have some rest, sit up slowly and then get up.
I hope this article was helpful for you and from now on your next first massages will be a lot better.
Here you can find some additional posts that might be helpful for you:
- 5 things you should NEVER do before erotic masage
- How to prepare for outcall erotic massage?
- Clients’ Questions: “Should I groom intimate parts before erotic massage?”
If you’re interested to book a massage session with me, read more about my massages here:
I’m an independent escort based in Warsaw, Poland. On my blog, I write about subjects related to my work: Girlfriend Experience, erotic massage, sensuality & intimacy. You can also find here interesting posts for gentlemen planning to start dating escorts and my Escorts Warsaw Guide.
